Itunes, Multiple Macs, Iphones and Icloud account vs.NAS help!

Hi all
I have a problem with the way im using Nas and how i manage multiple Itunes across multiple machines and Iphones.
Background.
Network - I have a Synology 2Tb NAS storage solution which is connected via a Wifi, ethernet router & modem to the other machines either fixed or wireless.
Connecting Devices ( See diagram)
Station one = Macpro - 10.7.5 | itunes 11.1.5 | Fixed Ethernet connection to router network
Station two =  Mac Mini -10.7.5 | itunes 11.1.5 | fixed ethernet connection to route network
Station three = Macbook - Maverick | itunes 11.1.5 | wireless
History.
I have previously moved all my itunes files (Not the library) from station one (see diagram) to NAS using the advice on this forum (very helpful) and kept the library on the Macpro which caused no problem with the Itunes, phone syncing etc as it was all with one Apple icloud profile with one Iphone.
So the wife then got herself an Iphone which we found was difficult to synch on station one, so decided to use a mini mac  as her machine so she could sync phone and have here own itunes  and this i think is where I might have managed to screw things up and where the complexity begins.
We sync one calender across all machines using icloud but each person has seperate apple IDs for phones/itunes etc which we set up and that part seems to work.
Problem
The big issue I have now is that there are elements of the Itunes storage which are now going wrong and its mainly down to the seperate libraries being used and amending data on the stored files. It creates problems when one machine adds a file or amends a title it then throws out the local libraries on the machines
The solution i think is setting up a single library on each machine which syncs (somehow) everytime someone moves, changes and adds to the music and movie elemements yet i can continue to use a local library  on station one and two which syncs for Iphone/Ipad and apps changes.
Is there a solution to that ?
Diagram.

My brain hurts.
Fundamental behaviors of iTunes:
iTunes only looks at its library file to tell it what is in the media collection.  If items are added to the media folders directly without adding to the library, iTunes has no idea they are there. That's just the way it works and no way to get around it. Oh, you could maybe come up with an Applescript that would start iTunes and add items to a library at the same time.  The Dougscripts web site even has one that kind of does that ('scan files folders not added' I think) but you'd need to modify it to make it automated.
Given the above, a using a common library file is the only way to make sure when iTunes is opened on a computer it is up to date on additions.  However, a library file can only be opened by one running iTunes application at a time.

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