ITunes on one computer is not accessible on another computer, but the reverse is true -- help, troubleshoot

My 2009 iMac can connect to my 2013 iMac, but not the reverse. My 2009 can play anything from the 2013 iTunes, but not the reverse. 
When this problem happened there was also a problem of the sound not working on the 2013 iMac. I went through all the standard procedures for both issues eventually resetting PRAM and finally reinstalling Yosemite, which did not fix either problem. 
Next, I found an article that had me go into the Audio MDMI app to fix the sound. Perfect. Now the 2013 has sound but still can not connect to the 2009; however, the 2013 can connect to the Macbook and Apple TV. Since I've reinstalled the OS and it can connect to the network and other devices I'm assuming that there is a setting someplace which is set to not connect with the 2009. Is there anything  I can check, either an app or through Terminal?
I've looked online for over an hour but I can't find anything to help in this particular situation.

Both computers are logged into the same iTunes account and are on the home sharing network. All of the correct settings have been selected. The problem is intermittent. Sometimes they connect, sometimes they don't. It's not consistent.
Just a few hours ago I connected the two via Ethernet to transfer files. They worked fine, 60 GB in 19 minutes. Later I went back to transfer about 10GB and they wouldn't connected except through Wi-Fi. Once again, 2009 can get into 2013 but not the other way around. It's driving me nuts.
At present 2013 is only showing a wi-fi connection to the Time Machine, not the other two computers.
Any more things to look for?

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