ITunes sharing no longer works

When I try to connect to my shared library I only get a dialog box mentioning "iTunes not accepting connections at this time, try again later." Supposedly this message only occurs when 5 other users have connected to your library in a single day. I've been getting this every day for two weeks.
Specifics are:
1. Updated to iTunes 8.1.
2. Used to work fine- iTunes library on external drive connected to Mac Mini, sharing to local network in house. Same message received on all other computers in house from Mac Mini.
3. No other users are connected or can connect, I live in the sticks.
4. File sharing works fine- no problems with network.
5. Tried turning iTunes sharing off then on.
6. Shut down and restarted all computers on network.
7. Checked firewall- set to accept all connections. Tried setting to "specific apps" with iTunes added but still doesn't work.
8. Trashed iTunes preferences and restarted.
9. Tried setting a password. Didn't work, so I returned it to normal (no password).
10. Reinstalled iTunes 8.1.
11. Turned off iTunes DJ.
12. Connections to ports 443 and 80 are allowed in Little Snitch. Sharing still doesn't work with Little Snitch turned off.
I'm out of ideas. Apple Genius's are out of ideas at local store. Am I alone with this problem?

Bumping this thread, as I still have the same very annoying problem, ever since the 8.1 update.
I have a MacBook and an iMac, the first wirelessly connected, the second by ethernet, both to a standard Actiontec router. I can see the shared library of another person on the network, but neither of my computers can share with the other, and doesn't even show up in the "Shared" section of the iTunes display.
Does anyone have any idea about this?

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