Itunes showing all data as other and sync button greyed out

Itunes showing all data as other and sync button greyed out. I have downloaded and installed Itunes 11 (multiple times) and restored my phone twice already, but I am still not able to sync my Iphone 4 with Itunes.
When I select / de-select Apps on Itunes to remove from the phone the "Apply" button does appear, but after I click it nothing happens. Then the greyed out "sync" button just appears again.
Anyone with some advise please?

Try Restarting or Resetting your touch.
Restart: Hold the Sleep/Wake button until the red slider appears and turn off your iPod. Press the sleep/wake button and hold it until you see the Apple icon.
Reset: Hold the Sleep/Wake button and the Home button at the same time. The red slider will appear first, keep hold everything until you see the Apple icon. Release the buttons.
Check your iPod and see if your music and apps have reappeared. If they do after either option, then resync your iPod.
If neither works, then Restore your touch through iTunes.

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I recently updated my 3gs to the new software, and my new ipad (3rd gen) is also running on the latest software. I also have the latest iTunes.
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I have been struggling to sync my ipod for several weeks now. I am becoming desperate, help would be really appreciated!
Operating system and software versions:
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itunes 10.5.3.3
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This is what has happened so far:
Itunes stopped recognizing Ipod when connected through usb cable, although windows did recognize the device.
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Itunes showing all data as other and sync button greyed out

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