Itunes sync with iphone 5 problem

It's making me crazy..
I am trying to sync my iphone 5 with itunes on Mac.
Tried everything.. My mac says syncing, then it says finished but no songs or no video is synced. Looking at the tree, I see the playlist but it's grey. (so not synced)
I had the same problem with my iPhone 4... The only thing I didn't do is setup the phone as a new phone.. (beacuse I want to keep my backup files)
Tried everything. uninstall, create new lib, wipe the phone..
Stupid thing is that my ipad 3 and mini are both synced correctly.
It can have something to do with itunes match. I did use it for a couple of days but it was horrible. Changed the setting back to local sync but it's doing nothing. Switching back to match doesn't help either. Deleted the lib on the phone, on itunes..
I am seeing more people with this problem. Anyone succeed in this?
Most likely it's a bug in either the firmware or itunes.. My expectation is in the iphone because my ipad's are synced correctly..
Thx>
Jorik

In addition, I just turned off syncing calendars, and now I'm "hanging" on syncing contacts. I think that the problem is with syncing, period, not limited to a particular data base.

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