Itunes/Syncing help needed

I have re-installed Itunes after a system crash. Now:
1.) Sync IPOD is greyed out
2.) I have used up all 5 activations for my one PC. I want to know how to reset that to 0 or 1.
3.) After 5 hours I have still not received the Restore Or Reset my User Name or Password email from Apple Support, so something is serious blown. (Yes I have checked all of my Junk/Spam folders and it isn't there either.)
Any helpers here?
Thanks

P.S.
This IPOD Touch is in need of a backup before I restore it to factory settings. Why?
I need to reset parental controls and the 4 digit security pin has been forgotten.
This IPOD has dozens of apps that she has paid for through Itunes. Can the APPS be restored from 'The Cloud', Itunes Store account records, anything?
What about the songs? Are they gone too?
How would I back up the apps, songs etc, without also backing up the inefficient security measures and forgotten pin?
Thanks

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    You're welcome.
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    <Edited by Moderator>

    When you sync, the iphone will mirror whatever you have synced. If you uncheck it, it will be removed from the iphone.
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    http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1535

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