Itunes update to firmware fails, because connection times out.

I have been unsuccessfully attempting to update my iphone 3gs and ipad to iOS 5 for over a month now.  I have spent many, many hours on this, and many phone calls to apple support.  I disable Norton 360, and windows firewall, and my firewall on my router.  I've tried updating my router's firmware, which bricked the router--thanks apple for insisting this was the problem, and I have replaced the router, with a new one.  Itunes diagnostics gives me the following information.  I am using itunes as the administrator in Windows 7, 64 bit, although itunes doesn't recognize it, unless I reinstall it as the administrator, but then once I restart the computer, itunes no longer recognizes that I using Windows as an admin. 
Also, the firmware cannot update, because the connection times out, despite all my firewalls, and antivirus being turned off.
I've tried downloading iOS 5 and then updating using restore, but that didn't work.  I've poured through support forums, and error codes: I get 1611, etc.  Cannot seem to resolve this.
Any ideas? 
Microsoft Windows 7 x64 Ultimate Edition Service Pack 1 (Build 7601)
System manufacturer System Product Name
iTunes 10.5.0.142
QuickTime not available
FairPlay 1.13.35
Apple Application Support 2.1.5
iPod Updater Library 10.0d2
CD Driver 2.2.2.0
CD Driver DLL 2.1.1.1
Apple Mobile Device 4.0.0.96
Apple Mobile Device Driver 1.57.0.0
Bonjour 3.0.0.10 (333.10)
Gracenote SDK 1.9.3.494
Gracenote MusicID 1.9.3.106
Gracenote Submit 1.9.3.136
Gracenote DSP 1.9.3.44
iTunes Serial Number 0040A7BC031F98E0
Current user is not an administrator.
The current local date and time is 2011-11-15 11:35:00.
iTunes is not running in safe mode.
WebKit accelerated compositing is enabled.
HDCP is supported.
Core Media is supported.
Video Display Information
ATI Technologies Inc., ATI Radeon HD 4800 Series       
**** External Plug-ins Information ****
No external plug-ins installed.
The drive F: HL-DT-ST DVDRAM GP08LU30 Rev 1.00 is a USB 1 device.
iPodService 10.5.0.142 (x64) is currently running.
iTunesHelper 10.5.0.142 is currently running.
Apple Mobile Device service 3.3.0.0 is currently running.
**** Network Connectivity Tests ****
Network Adapter Information
Adapter Name:          {01DC2EA3-0DD0-4A51-80A6-7B414E4C6291}
Description:          Realtek PCIe GBE Family Controller
IP Address:          192.168.2.2
Subnet Mask:          255.255.255.0
Default Gateway:          192.168.2.1
DHCP Enabled:          Yes
DHCP Server:          192.168.2.1
Lease Obtained:          Tue Nov 15 11:32:39 2011
Lease Expires:          Tue Nov 15 11:32:38 2011
DNS Servers:          192.168.2.1
Active Connection:          LAN Connection
Connected:          Yes
Online:                    Yes
Using Modem:          No
Using LAN:          Yes
Using Proxy:          No
SSL 3.0 Support:          Enabled
TLS 1.0 Support:          Enabled
Firewall Information
Windows Firewall is on.
iTunes is enabled in Windows Firewall.
Connection attempt to Apple web site was successful.
Connection attempt to browsing iTunes Store was successful.
Connection attempt to purchasing from iTunes Store was successful.
Connection attempt to iPhone activation server was successful.
Connection attempt to firmware update server was unsuccessful.
The network connection timed out.
Connection attempt to Gracenote server was successful.
Last successful iTunes Store access was 2011-11-15 11:33:52.

Disable your firewall/security software and try again.

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