ITunes won't let me select my own music for iPod Mini

Every time I connect my iPod Mini, iTunes generates the following message:
"The iPod cannot be updated because there is not enough free space to hold all of the songs in iTunes music library. Would you like iTunes to automatically select a playlist for you?"
If I click the "Cancel" button, the iTunes closes my iPod mini connection. If I click "Yes", I have no control over what iTunes downloads and cannot erase and replace the songs it chooses for me.
I have already removed and downloaded the iTunes and iPod mini and Updater sofware onto my hard drive. What can I do to have more control over what iTunes puts onto my iMini???
Help!!

Go into iPod preferences (while the iPod's attached) and choose "Update selected playlists" and you'll be able to pick the playlists you want on the iPod.
Or you could switch it to manual and drag the songs to the iPod icon . . .

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