Itunes won't show iphone in the source list, other problems too

Hi, I am having 3 huge problems with my iTunes.
First, when I plug my iphone in, it charges and the computer recognizes it, but it doesn't show up in the list.
Also, it for some reason starts on itunes store, every time. I want it to start on the music list like it used to.
Last, it constantly freezes whenever I close a window leaving itunes behind it. So I can't have more than one window open when using it.
I first uninstalled itunes completely, then installed the newest version, then updated my drivers. I have done everything on this list:
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1495
Here are my computer details:
Manufacturer: Lenovo
Model: 94577hu
OS: Microsoft Windows XP Professional
CPU/Ram: 1.828 GHz / 502 MB
Video Card: Mobile Intel(R) 945 Express Chipset Family
Sound Card: SoundMAX Integrated Digital HD Audio
I have no idea what to do now, please help!

I am by no means an expert on iPhone issues but I recall reading some cables transfer power and others carry data too, and this may be device specific.  I suspect your third party device is designed to simply transfer power.  If it is as you say the issue is one of re-activating Home Sharing and it has to be connected by a data cable then you may be left without solutions unless you subscribe to iTunes Match (in which case you can afford to buy another cable ).
You can read if Apple has any suggestions:
iPhone, iPad, iPod touch: Device not recognized in iTunes for Mac OS X - http://support.apple.com/kb/TS1591

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