Itunes wont recognize my iphone 5s!!! Please help

Hi Everyone.. can someone please help me? Ive been searching this forum for 2 days now and cannot find a fix to the issue I am having.
My wife and I had iphone 4s' untill we recently upgraded to the 5s... we got both phones on the same day and simply installed from backup and everything appeared to run smoothly in both cases... Until i recently noticed that some of the music was missing from a playlist I made a while ago.
Naturally I thought to sync the phone.. This is not possible over wifi (device options are greyed out) and it wont even work using a cable as the device driver times out.  Now please note I have forced an update to the driver multiple times now following advice on this site, and I have made sure that my windows updates and itunes software are fully upto date, yet I still cannot get itunes to see my phone... or my wifes phone!
Iphone software is upto date and i have tried different cables just to be sure, and still nothing!  Help me apple support community.. your my only hope!
Thanks

Hello mcenteemike,
Thank you for contacting Apple Support Communities.
The first thing I would check on would be what version of iTunes you have installed on your computer.
System Requirements
Apple ID (required for some features)
Internet access4
Syncing with iTunes on a Mac or PC requires:
Mac: OS X v10.6.8 or later
PC: Windows 7; Windows Vista; or Windows XP Home or Professional with Service Pack 3 or later
iTunes 10.7 or later (free download from www.itunes.com/download)
From:
iPhone 5 - Technical Specifications
http://support.apple.com/kb/SP655
If your iTunes is up to date, then you use the appropriate link:
Not seen in iTunes / USB connection issues
See these articles for help with troubleshooting this issue:
iOS: Not recognized in iTunes for Mac OS X
iOS: Not recognized in iTunes for Windows
iOS: Troubleshooting USB connections
From
iPhone: Hardware troubleshooting
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS2802
Regards,
Jeff D.

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