Just switched to Iphone from blackberry yesterday

Everyone told me when you delete e-mail from iphone it still shows up on your desktop. I am finding this not to be the case. I deleted some items last night and today they are not on my desktop, On the blackberry it asks you if you want to delete desktop and handheld device or just handheld device, does the Iphone have this option?

It should, but you have to make sure it is set up in iCloud that way. Provided that you use iCloud e-mail on your new iPhone....
What provider do you use for your e-mail, anyway?
Different providers behave different way.
In general, if you use IMAP e-mail, whatever happens on your phone happens on your desktop and on the server all at the same time (with a bit of delay) - they all should be in sync.
Whether a message remains in Trash or goes away for good needs to be set up on the server (Yahoo, GMail, iCloud, AOL). You don't set it up on your phone.
I know, that if I uncheck the box for storing deleted messages in iCloud, they vanish after I delete them and bypass Trash altogether.

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