Knowing when outgoing mail has been read

is there a way to automate Mail so that you know when a "sent" email has been opened by the recipient?

No, and there is really no way of knowing, and many people (me too!) would consider that it would be an invasion of privacy if it was available. If the recipient's client supports it, and the recipient has not turned it off, you may be able to get a delivery receipt - see this thread yesterday.
AK

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