Lack of control over iMessage

The purpose of this post is less of a question and more of a collection of the frustrations I have had with trying to use iMessage.
First off, the idea of iMessage seems great. Transparently allow users end to end encryption of their messages over a data network without any need for the user to do anything but turn iMessage "on". Have multiple iOS devices? Even better. Link them together with your Apple ID and your iMessages will show up on all devices!
For me, where iMessage starts to break down is with the multiple iOS device support and the promise of communication where your originating device is transparent to the recipient. Maybe what I want iMessage to be and what it is are different things, but I fail to see why the system should struggle to do what it is I am trying to do.
#1 - the inability to disable my phone # as a valid iMessage address on my active iPhone 5S is something I just can't understand. I'd love to be able to have standard SMS tied to my phone #, but have an e-mail address I can give out if someone wants to iMessage me. Let us use both! Don't force us to pick between iMessage and SMS! Right now I have to use an old iPhone 3GS I have laying around as my iMessage device (using an e-mail address), with iMessage disabled on my 5S. I admit this plan is a tad convoluted, but I am a Google Voice user. I have a subset of people I interact with that I do NOT give my real phone number. I give them my Google Voice number. Of course, Google Voice has multiple limitations with SMS (no emoji, no MMS, no group MMS). What I do is give these users my iMessage address as a workaround to Google Voice's limitations. This way I can send and receive messages from these users, with no loss in functionality, and they do not get my real phone number. Right now, the only way to successfully accomplish this is to carry a second Wi-Fi only device with no SMS functionality. The lack of SMS functionality is a requirement to make sure that #2 and #3 below don't happen...
#2 - I'm sure someone out there is saying "Just enable iMessage on your 5S and set your e-mail address as your source address!" This idea sounds like it would work in theory, but in practice it tends to fall flat on its face. Most worrysome, I have absolutely no way to look at an iMessage before I send it and see what source address I am sending from. It is like I am flying blind. I can't fathom why a selectible "source address" box or something doesn't appear once you enable multiple iMessage sources on your device. On top of that, I've had multiple occassions where I will have my e-mail address selected as my "source address", but the recieipent will receive an iMessage from me that comes from my real phone number, not my e-mail address. I'm aware of the very limited manner in which Apple supports what I am trying to do here. If I leave a specific iMessage thread open on my device and respond to it later, the recipient SHOULD see the conversation continue from the same source address. In either scenario (keeping the same conversation open, or deleting it and creating a new one with my e-mail address selected as the source), the recipient will occassionaly recieve iMessages from my phone number. How difficult it is to switch between source addresses leads me to believe that Apple did not design iMessage with this scenario in mind. Very strange to give us the ability to choose the source address, but have it very hard to get to, and have no way to ensure that it changed. Also strange to give us the ability to make a choice between source addresses, but then occassionally ignore that choice.
#3 - The "Send as SMS" toggle - another great idea that just doesn't work in practice. Allowing the iOS device to fall back to SMS when iMessage is unavailable for some reason is a great way for your average Joe to continue his conversation over iMessage or SMS and have no break in communication. Only thing he might notice is the switching of his messages from blue to green back to blue. I also get why Apple put this toggle in - what it SHOULD do is disable SMS as a failback for iMessage. Problem is, it just doesn't work. Seperate from #2 above, I have had scenarios where I am communicating with someone via iMessage. My source address is my e-mail address. Sending to a phone number. The iMessage fails for one reason or another. If I hit "retry", my iPhone will send the message as an SMS, even though "Send as SMS" is turned off. It won't even ask me if I want to try it as an iMessage again. I've also had it happen where my button changes from blue to green, and I can't get it back to blue. If I send a message while the button is green, an SMS is sent from my phone number (again with "Send as SMS turned off"). And here is a real head-scratcher for you: Say I have an iMessage conversation with my e-mail address as the source. I lose iMessage connectivity and my button goes green. If/when I get the blue button back, what iMessage source am I using now? It is entirely possible that my last communicaiton was an SMS from my phone number, so what source does iMessage pick to continue the conversation? I have no idea, and there really is no excuse for this lack of visibility into the source address.
#4 - iMessage registration ***** - One of the reasons I hate enabling iMessage on my phone number is how inconsistent the whole expereince is. After I turn it on, some iOS users see me as an iMessage receipient, while others see me as an SMS recipient. I've had entirely too many of these scenarios where my number is stuck in limbo between the two. Even worse is when I turn iMessage off. In some cases, it takes DAYS before some iOS devices realize that I am no longer an iMessage receipient, while other iOS users can tell instantly. I get no notificaitons about any iMessages that I lose during the time that some devices are incorrectly showing my number as still having iMessage enabled. Unfortunately, I get the most consitstent expereince with iMessage turned off.
#5 - iMessage delays - This one may not be Apple's fault, but it is still frustrating. I have iMessage enabled on my phone number. I am conversing with someone via iMessage. Source and destination are both phone numbers. I enter an area of questionable data coverage. Person on the other end sends me an iMessage. Because of poor data coverage, I do not receive it. You would think that I would get the missing iMessage as soon as I regain data coverage. Unfortunately, in my experience, Apple has some sort of "message retry" timer on iMessages that are not delivered the first time. It seems that these retries can sometimes be hours after the initial iMessage was sent. Some additional transparency and/or control here would be welcome.
In summary, it appears that iMessage works best when it is left alone. Trying to use the "advanced" functions provided can lead to unpredictable and unexpected results. iMessage could be even more powerful than it is today...if Apple would give us the control we need over the product.
Network25

Thank you for the responses.
I wanted to get my ideas out in the open in the forums prior to submitting them to Apple as feature requests. I was curious if other people have had experiences similar to mine with iMessage.
I admit I went into quite a lot of detail, but that is mainly because my thoughts on the subject are still a bit unfocused. The current solution is to "disable iMessage", but I really do want to find a way for the product to work for me. Summarized, I have 2 seperate but related issues:
#1 - Allow iMessage to be used WITHOUT forcing the phone number to be iMessage as well. I can submit this request to Apple. Does anyone know why this is currently a forced setting? I can't think of any drawbacks to allowing users to disable it...
#2 - Fix broken / confusing beahviors of the current iMessage implementation, such as lack of visibility into the source iMessage address.
Thoughts? Opinions? Thanks.
Network25

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