Laptop with two ipods. 20GB ipod recognised by win/itunes, Nano doesn't!

Ok this problem is driving me insane.
I have an Acer laptop. My partner has a 20GB ipod and I have a 4GB 2nd Gen Nano. I created a separate windows user account so I didn't mess up the 20GB itunes list. My partners 20GB ipod works fine, it gets recognised by windows and itunes. We use the same cable and USB port to connect. When I try and connect my Nano on my separate user account with a separate itunes list (or even with my partners list) it never gets recognised by itunes. It says "Do not disconnect" on the Nano window, but nothing ever gets connected. Sometimes the computer might say "your Nano is in recovery mode please restore" but that is only when I have taken the cable out of the Nano after 10mins of it not being recognised.
When I go to "My Computer" to see what is going on, the window freezes and I see nothing. When I am looking at the device list when I manage the drivers and I connect the Nano, the computer freezes.
I connected it once in Feburary when I purchased it and downloaded all my songs, but could never connect after that and change my songs around. So today I decided to go to the apple service centre and get them to restore it for me (I was having no luck because the computer wont even recognise it).They restored it fine, it wiped off all the songs... and now I still can not connect.
I have a Nano with no songs on it that wont connect to computer at all... and yet my partners 20GB ipod works just fine with the computer.
Please give me some suggestions on what I can do - apart from throwing it at the wall really hard
Thanks for you help guys.

i was lucky enough yesterday or the day befor to see that some 1 had posted a mayby solution in as a topic. yet no 1 belived him i still tryed and my ipod dint work the first time i conected it so i updated 4 or so songs onto my ipod using the soft ware he posted but then got bored and left it. yet 2day when i conected my ipod it came up in itunes perfect.
heres a link to the software download
http://www.redchairsoftware.com/anapod/
its tops stuff
u might wanna get this befor apple delets it again

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