LION screen sharing and remote log in issues

Hi,
In Snow Leopard I could access my iMac screen from my macbook and have the iMac restart and allow me to log in and continue to use the iMac.
In Lion I cannot access the log in screen remotely after a restart.
I need to go to the iMac and actually log into it with the keyboard before it will show up again on the network.
I tried to adjust the sharing preferences but nothing is allowing me to manage the iMac and restart it from a different machine.
Once I am logged in the screen sharing works fine. It's the log in issue that is not working for me.
thanks for any help in advance,
christos

i have not been able to get screen sharing to work at all, which has never been a problem for me. i'm registered as an authorized user on both computers, the passwords are correct, but it keeps telling me that the username/passwords don't work. and this is after the computers have already been "connected" using the exact same passwords and user name.

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