Mac won't recognize iphone

I hate APPLE right now.  Why have they "suggested" to upgrade to Snow Leopard to make my life better, but all it has done is turn our mac into a rock with a screen and itunes will not recognize iPhone 4S anymore.  Wouldn't be a problem, but I have drank the Kool-Aid and we own 4 iphones, 1 ipod touch, 2 ipads, and several ipod nanos of various ages.  Mr. Cook, it has to be simpler than erasing a hard drive before installing a new operating system.  Shouldn't we be able to install over the one you tell me isn't as good as the new one?  If it were that good, I would think it would be able to avoid crashing with the old OS still installed.  I bought two of my kids iPhones for Christmas which will cost me the $100 to buy them. and the $145 per month for a pretty basic family plan with AT&T so for $3600, shouldn't they be able to sync them to the "cool new" iTunes on Snow Leopard?  Snow Leopards are on MY endangered list right now!
Can anyone tell me how to get iTunes to sync with my devices again?
I've already tried all the Apple steps on their website and even deleted iTunes through the Terminal to reinstall.  No joy!

The Mac OS X (10.6.3) I the tag line  didn't get you there?  The iTunes installed would be whatever version they have online as of 12/25/12. Yes that would be Christmas night. Would love to give you the version number but my new "rock with a screen" takes overnight to reboot and today is my lucky day, we get to reboot two times (using my unsynced iPhone 4S to respond).  I'm guessing you didn't get anything on your Christmas list. Keep your chin up JB there's always next gen iPhone5S.

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    Online (UK): http://store.apple.com/uk/product/MC573/mac-os-x-106-snow-leopard
    Germany: http://store.apple.com/de/product/MC573/mac-os-x-106-snow-leopard
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