MacBook Pro does not see my iPhone 4 at all..!!

I've read a lot of the discussion on this and it seems that ...1- Apple clearly don't listen to feedback!  2- the spiel about Iphoto being included with every mac since 2002 is not a true statement! 3- iTunes might see the iPhone but is not all that useful in its sync capacity! 4- the problem still exists even after all the stupid upgrades, updates etc, power on with iPhone connected/unconnected, multiple restarts, uninstalling/re-installing all manner of apps and software...ETC
where to now people? I am really stuck..!!
Side note but interesting just the same...my old windows pc used to sync and do the photo import thing just fine....yet a product from the same parent company just can't seem to get the same result....have i made a error in trying to be apple loyal?

Connect the iphone to the MBP and manually launch iTunes. Then check the box launch iTunes when the iphone is connected.

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