MacBook Pro loses access to 1 memory slot upon shutdown or reboot in OS X 10.8.1

I have had 4GB of RAM in my mid-2009 13-inch MacBook Pro since a few weeks after purchasing it in 2009.  Until a couple of weeks ago, this machine has been running OS X 10.6.8 with no RAM issues.  I wanted to wait for 10.8.1 before doing a clean install of Mountain Lion on this MacBook  So, the day that 10.8.1 was released to the App Store I immediately purchased and downloaded the new OS.  I then performed a clean install of the OS, got all my software setup, and all was right with my MacBook.
However, over the next week I noticed upon startup or reboot of the machine everything felt sluggish. I opened the activity monitor and clicked on the system memory tab, it showed 2GB.  I immediately clicked on the About This Mac button to see how much RAM was installed, it showed only one 2GB stick installed (the other memory slot was empty).  The next option I chose was to restart the computer.  Upon startup it still only showed one 2GB stick.  Next, I shutdown the computer, opened the back cover, and proceeded to remove both 2GB sticks of memory. I blew out the slots with compressed air, swapped the positions of each stick and reseated the memory.
I started up the computer and to my pleasant surprise both memory slots were recognizing 2GB each (4GB total). I thought this had permanently resolved the issue, but unfortunately after every shutdown or reboot my MacBook (without fail) loses access to the second memory slot, unless I remove and reseat the memory. 
This problem did not start until after installing 10.8.1.  I have tried countless SMC and PRAM resets.  Please help.

This didn't happen to me until I upgraded back to Lion the second time. I went from Lion back to a clean install of Snow Leopard back to Lion and then I had the problem with it not waking from sleep. The first instance with Lion I had no problems. So I decided to go back and do another install of Snow Leopard and the problem stayed with me. I am now on 10.8.1 and the problem remains the same.
I have, kind of, solved the sleep problems by putting hibernatemode at 25. This has allowed me to wake the computer up without a hard reset, but when I do wake it up it makes that hard drive spinning noise twice, almost as if it is waking up twice. Then, back to 2gb unless I reset the ram. I am going to take the case off tomorrow and just make sure everything is ok in there, but other than that I am just hoping it's not the logic board as my computer is a few years old now. I may also just throw a 4gb into the one thats working.
Memtest has found no problems either, both with 2gb and 4gb showing.
Thanks for the help everyone, this is really driving me nuts and answers are hard to come by.

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      Default Browser: Version: 537 - SDK 10.9
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