Macbook wont charge

Hello again I'm going to try my luck again for asking for help here I'll try to keep it short and simple.
What's Wrong With My Mac???
It won't charge or show the led color on the charger.
The battery indicator flashes. "don't know what it means though"
I can only power up my macbook pro by using the "SMC" for the unibody version "weird"
Even when power It still acts if'y. (Symptoms Include)
Loud,Hard,Fast running fans from start up to finish.
Even when powered using the SMC the charger doesn't have any light.
the battery can't be read or registered/or battery not available when the battery is inside the mac.
Random shut downs/cut offs "cuts off like the battery died or something".
Shut down/cuts off whenever anything flash related like minecraft,youtube,online and,offline videos are in play.
Lastly while on the macbook's backlight "keyboard light" will not activate or allow me to activate it???"
What I've Tried / What I am Going to Try.
I've tried the regular standard SMC for the removable battery type macbook pro series... but it didn't work.
I've tried different chargers which have... kinda sorta worked? "they would show the regular normal green signal and I would leave it thinking it would charge but herp derp the light dims until there is no light at all.
I gave my friend my charger and it worked fine for him?
Now I'm going to give my friend my macbook battery and see if he puts it into his dad's macbook will it charge... hopefully.
IF YOU HAVE SUGGESTIONS,IDEAS,SOLUTIONS,ETC. PLEASE HELP!!!
ALSO I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO GO TO APPEL WITH THIS PLUS THIS IS A HAND ME DOWN (/-_-)/ \(-_-\) SO PLEEEAAASSSEE HELP!!! :-'(
Pics. Of What I'm Talking About

What exact model MBP do you have? If you do not know, take the serial number from the bottom and enter it here:
https://selfsolve.apple.com/agreementWarrantyDynamic.do
Open System Profiler>Power and post this from your MBP:
Make certain that the charger is connected.
Run an Apple Hardware Test (extended version):
http://support.apple.com/kb/ht1509
Ciao.

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