Mail doesn't send half the time

My SMTP server is TalkTalk ( UK) and when I send mail it works fine... half the time.
The other half I get the 'sending' wheel spinning. nothing in my activity window, and eventually the following alert:
<Cannot send message using the server smtp.talktalk.net>
Sometimes, the message appears simultaneously as I get the 'whoosh' of sent mail and when I 'Try with Selected Server' the email goes immediately, and my correspondents report a double post!
Other times, I get no whoosh, I 'Try With Selected server' and then I get the whoosh.
So the server is fine.
There is something wrong with my mac
any ideas?
peter

I will ask them what their time-out is, thanks.
I tend to avoid automated downloads/uploads and have everything set to manual, as I use my mac for audio production and don't like the idea of background tasks suddenly kicking in ( while perhaps recording or rendering is taking place) . It probably doesn't matter with the new processors, but it's a habit I will stick to until proven unnecessary.
What I should really do is have a boot partition just for audio, but I rather like being able to instantly switch tasks - I have a very disorganised lifestyle
'Blink': sorry - this is jargon from my online conferencing system, cix. It uses a Mail-type reader to run conversations offline rather than using it as an online forum. It means a simultaneous upload/download of messages.
peter

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