Mail fails to recognize names from address book

My information in address book shows as follows
Name: J Doe
Email address: [email protected]
If someone has me in their address book as Doe John and sends an email to me at my email address ([email protected]), Mail.app does not recognize me and asks me if I want to 'Add to Address Book'.
The same happens if a sender has a minor change in the Name (such as even a dot in the name) of any recipient, regardless of the fact that I have the correct name in the address book. Mail fails to recognize the recipient even though the email address is identical, and will ask me if I want to 'Add to Address Book'.
One would expect Mail to use just the email address and recognize the contact as already being in the Address Book.
I just spent a good three hours investigating this.
There have been numerous posts discussing this both here and elsewhere over the years but I'm surprised that there has not been a solution. Here are some examples..
1. Mail can't recognize my contact email address
2. Address Book editing
3. Mail doesn't show names from the Address Book
In the 3rd example above, Golden Shoes suggests that this is the same for every email client, but I must disagree because Postbox and Thunderbird does display the information correctly from the Address Book, infact Postbox does this impressively I must add.
It would be great if this was fixable in Mail. Is there a solution for this?

I followed your suggestions.
Both AB and AB within Mail were empty of contacts after I deleted my iCloud contacts from the mac. I even did a reboot just in case. After this, I rechecked contacts and all my contacts appeared again both in AB and AB within Mail.
I quit and reopened Mail to find that the problem still persisted. I know and rechecked that these contacts are not present in my previous recipients list so it is definitely not that database which is preventing this.
The funny thing (maybe not funny since this is really bugging me) is that Mail on iOS (iPhone) works just fine. The Mail on iPhone seems to query the sender/recipient email address, accurately realizes that the contact is already in the AB, and shows as such. The same email in Mail.app on the mac asks me if I want to add the contact to AB.
Is this really a unique situation? Is everyone else not experiencing the same?
If you ask someone to change your name within their address book and send an email to you, does Mail on the mac recognize you regardless of what that sender named you as? Or does it ask you to add to AB?

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