Mail in Mavericks is taking forever to "do its stuff" - and weird things happening

The upgrade to Mavericks on my iMac (late 2009, 3.06 GHz Core 2 Duo, 12 GB RAM, 500 GB HD) went smoothly enough, but when starting up Mail it took forever to go through its database upgrade and email conversation upgrade processes.
So I went to sleep, and 7 hours later its still cleaning stuff up.
Friends on FaceBook have it worse - a few are reporting still being at the database upgrade step.
And the friendly link to "read about new features while waiting" leads to a page saying there is no information.
I know there were almost no new features touted for Mail in this upgrade, except for speed. But I am finding it slower. And I can't get read messages to get marked as read automatically as I read them.
And email I reply to no longer shows a "replied" curly arrow indicator. Is that gone now?
I have 6 accounts: 4 of them are Gmail and 2 are standard IMAP accounts with Hostgator.
I guess my questions  are are other people having similar problems, and why does it take so long to upgrade, and why the unread message count doesn't go down after reading a message (I see a count and am looking for unread messages and can't find any!), and why the reply indicator is gone.
doug

Mail is still not showing all my Gmail from this afternoon. I can't figure out why it's so slow. Airmail ($1 in the app store) shows everything right away.
I don't necessarily thing Mail is better than Airmail, but I'm used to it. But the sheer speed of Airmail may have me getting used to it.
What on earth is taking Mail so long?
doug

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