Mail overloading server shutting down my websites with 500 error

Question

Im using Host Gator and they only allow 25 processes running at once or it shuts down all of my sites (with the plan I have). Over the past 1.5 years this has been a royal pain. The culpret is Apple mail. It for some reason wont allow me to limit access to how many times it looks for the mail. If it does I cannot find the setting. Basically what Ive been told is to limit access to once every 30 minutes and that will fix it. Ive also unclicked the "idle command"
I also have an iphone and iPad which is contributing to the access rate being too often.
Im told this is unique to Apple mail. Cant imagine others are not having similar issues.
Anyone have a clue or a way around this?

Answer 1

Its set for every 30 minutes but it keeps overloading the server with too many processes still. Any other ideas? Supposedly the processes deactivate after a few minutes so something else is happening that causes it to overload more often than not as Im getting customer complaints.