Mail won't send to spouse's Mail program

My wife and I both have iMacs, running 10.6.8, and send emails to members of our respective singing groups. We often copy each other so we can verify the message was sent. Our outgoing server is Comcast, and incoming is either Comcast, Earthlink or mac.com, depending upon the address.  When I send a group message to my chorus members, and copy her at any of her addresses, that mail item does not arrive - although the remainder do. Similarly, when she sends one from her iMac and copies me, I don't receive it. If she copies my mac.com account, it DOES arrive.
Interestingly, if we send the same email from our iPads or iPhones, we receive the copy. This has only started in the past few months, so I wonder if one of the security patches didn't cause this issue. We have had times when, according to the Mail program, emails were sent, but NO ONE received them, but that happens usually after using a bulk mailing program (MaxProg) which we have now discontinued. Would upgrading to Lion help this? This is very confusing....

I can't see how this is a Mail problem, so I doubt that upgrading to Lion would help.
Is it only when emails are cc'd to spouses that failure occurs, or does it also occur when the spouse is in the To field?
Have you checked that messages are not going straight to junk?
Have you any Mail rules in operation that might cause the problem?
If the spouse is the only recipient does the problem occur?

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    WROTE Feb 08 08:18:55.309 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelTLSv1SSLv3]  -- host:smtp.gmail.com -- port:25 -- socket:0x7f9ba68d5220 -- thread:0x7f9ba68ce300
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:18:59.144 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNone]  -- host:smtp.gmail.com -- port:25 -- socket:0x7f9ba6d4edc0 -- thread:0x7f9ba6514970
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:18:59.528 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelTLSv1SSLv3]  -- host:smtp.gmail.com -- port:25 -- socket:0x7f9ba6d4edc0 -- thread:0x7f9ba6514970
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    READ Feb 08 08:18:59.692 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba67202d0
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:18:59.701 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba62c7ae0 -- thread:0x7f9ba3d925a0
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:18:59.715 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba6d41cd0
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    READ Feb 08 08:19:00.067 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba6d41cd0
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.081 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba7419930
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.159 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba62c7ae0 -- thread:0x7f9ba6867290
    3.29 CAPABILITY
    READ Feb 08 08:19:00.197 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba7419930
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.218 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba3d925a0
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    READ Feb 08 08:19:00.340 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba3d925a0
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    4.30 OK Success
    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.360 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba3d925a0
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    READ Feb 08 08:19:00.363 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba62c7ae0 -- thread:0x7f9ba6867290
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.387 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba62c7ae0 -- thread:0x7f9ba7419930
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    READ Feb 08 08:19:00.474 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba3d925a0
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.496 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelNegotiatedSSL]  -- host:imap.gmail.com -- port:993 -- socket:0x7f9ba6814e40 -- thread:0x7f9ba67202d0
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    READ Feb 08 08:19:00.606 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelTLSv1SSLv3]  -- host:smtp.gmail.com -- port:25 -- socket:0x7f9ba6720aa0 -- thread:0x7f9ba68ce300
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    WROTE Feb 08 08:19:00.626 [kCFStreamSocketSecurityLevelTLSv1SSLv3]  -- host:smtp.gmail.com -- port:25 -- socket:0x7f9ba6720aa0 -- thread:0x7f9ba68ce300
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    Tyashinsky wrote:
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