Mail x64 Control Panel Broken, Can't Install Office 2013 SP1 to Fix It - HELP NEEDED

I have the dreaded broken Mail x64 Control Panel that doesn't work after installing Office 2013 Home and Business on a Windows 8.1 Pro computer.  This was a fresh installation, yet Microsoft still has an ancient disk image on their Office.com website
for download.  The version is 15.0.4433.1507.  It's from 2012!  I don't understand the purpose of having people download something if you are not even going to keep it up to date, and have them download programs which you know are broken. 
Strike 1.
Another thread said to update Office 2013.  Easier said than done.  Windows Update won't do it, even if Windows Update is manually told to search for updates.  Strike 2.
Another thread said to disable updates inside an office program (File, Account, Update Options).  Then Enable it, and updating should start immediately.  Nope.  Strike 3.
Same thread said if the above didn't work, to go to Uninstall Programs, and run a Repair of Office 2013.  Did that, and then it wanted the Product Key again.  Gave it the product key, it put a green check mark next to it signifying it was good,
and then when I clicked next, it said it couldn't activate it.  I clicked the Repair button, and the program closed.  Strike 4.
I uninstalled, and reinstalled Office 2013.  I downloaded the Office 2013 Service Pack 1 x64, and ran it.  It gives the error message "There are no products affected by this package installed on the system".  How could that be? 
Article ID 2850036 says specifically that it applies to "Microsoft Office Home and Business 2013".  Since when can't you install Service Packs? Strike 5.
Anyone have any ideas?
Michael

Hi Michael,
The issue may occur if the registry entries are corrupted or missing. Usually, repair the Office suite from control panel can fix the issue.
For your case, I would suggest you to run Microsoft Fix It tool (or follow the
manual steps listed in follow article
) to uninstall Office 2013 completely from your computer, then do a re-installation and verify the result:
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2739501/en-us
If you are able to login to
www.office.com/myaccount, then you can get the latest Office installation file there.
More reference: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2808266/en-us
Sorry for the inconvenience. Please have a try and feel free to post back.
Thanks,
Ethan Hua CHN
TechNet Community Support

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