MBP only runs with battery UNinstalled?

So I woke my computer from its sleep state this morning, and it instantly shut down. When I pressed the power button, the CD drive began to spin up, as did the fans, etc., but less than 2 seconds after pushing the power button, it just stops booting up and shuts down again. I tried this about 4 times with the same result. Then I removed the battery, and the computer booted up just fine. I then tried to install the battery while the computer was running, and as soon as I clicked it into place, it instantly shut down again. And just so it's clear, the power adapter was plugged into the computer this whole time, even when I tried to fire it up with the battery installed.
I'm very confused with this problem, and any help I can get would be greatly appreciated!

I just tried installing the "battery update 1.3" linked to from that page, but it said my computer didn't need it. (Already installed at one point?)
Any other suggestions?

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