Messages Don't Delete - the just get "dimmed"

I am now trying to use Mac Mail after like 15 years of Eudora in Windows. I have also switched my primary e-mail account from POP to IMAP in order to make it work better with my iPhone.
The transition is going reasonably smoothly, though it appears I have a l lot to learn, either about how IMAP works or about how MacMail works. For example, MacMail seems to keep creating e-mail boxes like "sent" and "deleted messages" and "drafts" in a way that I have yet to fully comprehend.
But the issue I'm writing about now is the weird way that MacMail deletes -- or doesn't delete messages.
For example: I'm done looking at a message that lives only in my "inbox." I delete the message. For a moment, it has disappeared. But then a moment later it reappears in the inbox, only the message header is dimmed. And then the next time I look, I see that the headers and messages are fully restored, like I had never deleted them at all.
This is getting a tad infuriating, my inbox is now filling up with messages that I have deleted. *** is going on here?
Why can't I just click "delete" on a message, and have it go away?
Thanks,
--PS

I think I just answered my own question.
I had changed one of the settings under the "general" preferences tab to "move deleted messages to the trash mailbox." I unchecked that selection and now when I delete a message, it's gone.
But, suppose I WANT to keep deleted messages in a "trash" folder, at least until the next time I close/reopen the mail program (that's how it worked with Eudora). Why does a message that I've relegated to the "trash" folder still show up in my inbox??
--PS

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Messages Don't Delete - the just get "dimmed"

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