Missing emails, contacts, calendar and texts - iOS6 upgrade

Has anyone else experienced this or know what to do? Everyone seems to be in complete denial at Apple about this problem.
At the store, they advised me to set up the phone as a completely new phone however:
- am **STILL** missing emails, contact, calendar appointments and texts (I use MS-exchange)
- I've lost all my old texts and notes (and am trying to do a backup to my old iPhone 4s (on old iOS) but its not working
I'm ready to commit myself to an asylum from the havoc wreaked in my life a the moment, not to mention my sadness at losing a note containing all both my daughters milestones and special moments from the last 4 years (which I can't retrieve because the restore to iPhone 4s isn't working).
Can someone please help preserve my sanity and help this problem? I have deleted iCloud as I think perhaps the "Cloud" is confusing matters and getting rid of data (and not working well with Exchange)
Any other tips?

oops...ouch...hard way to learn to always back up your stuff
you "never" backed anything up?? not even an old backup someplace? you really don't have to answer...i'm just feeling your pain. difficult.

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