Mobile me: problem syncing/ computer idenity issue?/ ical

hi,
so about 2 months or go my computer (a macbook pro 2.8 ghz) would tell me that the password for mobile me was incorrect, when it wasn't. i could keep getting mail (my .me account) but the sync system kept telling me the password was not correct. so, the only way to sync was to plug my phone (3gs) into my computer.
then i get an email (about a week ago) that i need to update my mobile me calendar, so i do. then my calendar has the -on my mac, and now - my mobileme account. so now i have duplicates of everything! since both (the on my mac, and my .me) are the same.
i go ahead and delete the .me account from my ical since i don't want 2 copies of everything.
so then i again try to sync my phone with out it plugged in. i get a message that tells me (basically, b/c i cant remember it) that this .me account is already associated to a computer named 'my computer's name'. i have one laptop, that i have had for 2 years now. my phone has not been synced to another computer ever. it told me i should rename the computer, but i know the computer it is talking about, and it is the only one i am on. so i decide to tell it to ignore it, or whatever word it actually said. it tells me some information might get lost, but i know there is only 1 computer. i almost feel like my computer is having split personality disorder right now, confusing itself with another.
so now i still can't sync. the last window is such, "you are nw syncing some of your information with mobile me for the first time." (what, no im not. i always sync.) "to avoid losing this information on your computer, merge the information on your computer with the information on mobileme." the options are then, merge information, replace information on this computer, or replace information on mobileme.
i don't know what to choose. i have a fear that if i merge i will again get everything. 2 sets of contacts, 2 sets of calendars, etc. i don't know which of the other 2 to choose since i don't know which one it is considering a master.
i'm just lost. i really want to bring it in for mac support. is that possible? or can someone please help.
thanks so much.

Roger,
thank you so much.  That seems to have completely corrected the problem.  At least, it's not erasing it on my laptop.  I'll have to check it tomorrow morning on the desktop, but it looks like this was a complete win.
Thank you so much!

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