More iOS5/Mac ical duplication/deletion woes

More iCal duplication/deletion woes.
The Product list won't let me check more than one product, so here's a summary: MacBook Pro (OS X 10.6.8); iPhone 4S (iOS 5); iPad 2 (iOS 5)
As it stands at the moment, my iPad has three copies of everything*; the iPhone some of some stuff and none of others; and the Mac, my mainstay, is missing almost everything.
I turned on iCloud on the phone and pad.  They synched and immediatly duplicated stuff.  When I hooked either of them to the Mac, it added that calendar.
I turned iCloud off. 
Then there followed several attempts to delete all on the phone and retrieve from the Mac, but it keeps erasing the events on the Mac.
I'm usually very good at troubleshooting these kinds of things, but I cannot figure out what the iPhone is picking up or not picking up, and which calendar takes precedence for any one event.  It's completely confusing.
The last thing I tried was deleting anything that had duplicates on the iPhone, double-checking to make sure the original event was on the Mac, then syncing the phone.  It promptly erased all my original events on the Mac.
I'm afraid to delete the iCloud account because it might erase the iPad, and it has the last remaining threads of my original calendar.
What gives, Apple?  We're not used to this level of Microsoftian cruft!

All gone.  Every single event from the past 10 years, vanished.  And I don't know why.

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