Multiple Computers and iPhone and iPods

I have 3 computers Desktop PC-XP at work, Laptop PC-Vista, and Desktop PC-XP at home. I also have an iPhone, 2 iPod touches (for each of my sons) and an iShuffle. I want to copy/share any music/video/apps with each device wherever i am. I have authorized my 3 computers and am having trouble syncing the iPod touches with my laptop.
Each time i connect my device it wants to erase everything and resync it to the current library on that machine. It greys out the apps on my iTouches and won't let me drag and drop them. I did this exact thing on my computer at work last week without any problems.
I also am having trouble syncing apps on my laptop - it worked fine when i copied apps from my iTunes at work and copied apps from my iPhone free/purchased to the iPods. I am unable to do this with my laptop.
Also when i sync my iPhone it reorders all my apps alphabeticaly that i have already organized by how i use them. Which is VERY frustrating.
Looking for a way to easily manage everything and can find great help videos and instructions for one computer and one device, or one computer and multiple devices. Multiple computers seems to be the issue.
If someone had some advice on how to handle this the best way i would greatly appreciate it. thanks!

You can sync/manage itunes content from ONE computer at a time. When you sync/manage to a different computer it will erase the current content and replace with content from the new computer.
Try putting all of the content on one machine and sync to that machine.

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