Multiple devices, one iTunes, how to transer and sync properly

I have a complicated question.
I recently purchase a new iphone and ipad.  I now have 3 devices, personal iphone, work iphone and an ipad 2 (which has not been synched yet).
My personal iphone is connected to my personal computer, a PC.  My PC has my entire music collection connected to but is stored on an external hard drive. 
My work iphone is connected to another computer, a mac book pro. This has no music, some media files and all the applications for my work iphone plus some photos and videos I use for work.
As I stated, I have not hooked the ipad 2 up yet.
I want to transfer the itunes library from my PC to my mac but keep it on the external hard drive for portability and safety as I travel with the mac and would prefer to keep the library, photos and other content sperate.
I want to know the best way to transfer the library, have the mac point to the hard drive and then sync all 3 devices but not load all the content on each devices.  The personal iphone should only have music and personal photos while the work iphone should remain the same as it is today with only work phots and no mucsic.  The ipad can contain everything.
Is there a way to have each device synch seperately but all link to the same itunes on the mac via an external hard drive.
Thank you.

I can not even see the device after I decline the option to erase and sync with the other devise.  Sorry, I am a bit techno challenged.  Can you help with a blow by blow?
much appreciation.

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