Multiple iphones, 1 itunes library, 1 account - how to share ratings?

Hi all,
My husband and I share one itunes account, one music library and we log into the computer with one account. We have the same music available on our iphones which we rate - than delete the rest (from the library and the computer).
Problem comes when one syncronizes the phone and ratings which get overwritten by the other's choices. We've tried one of us using the ratings, the other adding a special genre hoping that it would somehow be merged. I am not quite sure though, what's the rule - I would have thought that the ratings are overwritten only if the second one is higher, or genre is updated only if the second one has something chosen or an added comment overwrites the empty area..
We have also tried creating playlists on the phones, adding these playlists to the main library, adding the ratings afterwares, syncronize it with the songs located in the main library.. Not sure what overwrites.
Would anyone have a solution? I'd be much appreciated, thanks!

Your iTunes account can be authorised on up to 5 computers at any one time (http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1420). You can also use home sharing so as to share your content between computers or to listen/watch content on your iOS devices : http://support.apple.com/kb/HT3819 (you can also copy music between computers via home sharing)
As long as you use the same iTunes account as you originally used to buy/download them then you don't have to pay to re-download (or download on different computers/devices) past purchases of apps or ibooks (or music if you are in the USA) as long as they are still available in the store : http://support.apple.com/kb/HT2519.
You can also manually copy music/apps/ibooks/films/tv shows between computers and then do File > Add File To Library (or Add Fold) in iTunes so as to add them.

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