Multiple problems with iphone and itunes

Long time iphone and mac user here. We have 5 iphones in our family and 4 mac computers. I am fairly competent with them. That said we have nothing but problems when trying to get our iphones to sync or update through itunes. Today i had just had enough so i am spending the day trying to resolve all of the random errors we are getting. This isn't up to Apple's usual quality standards. We have an iphone 5 and an iphone 4 synced to a windows 7 64bit. The issues below are with the iphone 5. All software updates for phone, itunes, and pc have been done. I have uninstalled itunes, cleaned reg, then reinstalled just now. (this resulted in new errors...).
Here are my issues:
1. SQLlite.dll error (fixed this one myself by copying the files)
2. The iphone could not be backed up becuase the back up is not compatible or is corrupted error - can't back up iphone manually over wifi or cable
3. The iphone could not be synced becuase the iphone could not be found on the network - this just started when i resinstalled itunes. i've plugged and unplugged the phone about a dozen times, restarting the computer and phone each time. We've had problems getting our phones to sync for a while now but usually we can get it to work by plugging/unplugging over and over again, but not anymore.
Thanks in advance for your help with this.

Okay here's the entire deal it's my gf's Mac and we used to use it together I would sync on her labtop but now we are having issues and she continues to take my phone when I'm sleeping and connect it to iTunes and then proceed to go through all my things. So basically is there anyway I can remove my phone of iTunes or maybe have a pass code on iTunes for my phone so in order for it to be synced there has to be a passcode entered? Or just is there a way to stop this from happening?

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