Music on iPhone 5 does not show in iTunes

I want to take all of the music off my iPhone 5 and put different music on, but in iTunes there is nothing listed when I select the music tab on the phone. I know there is music on there so I'm not sure why the list is empty.
Also, I have loads of music on my mac, some of which is not mine, how do I stop music downloading to my phone via iCloud? My boyfriend has horrible taste in music and his stuff keeps playing on my phone when it is in shuffle!
Thanks

Try the iTunes "Transfer Purchases" menu item. This will transfer music purchased through iTunes on your iPhone to your computer.

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