My ical will not sync to my iPhone 4s - I do not have iCloud

Ok, here goes.  I have been doing a lot of searching on this issue and I have not been able to find a solution.  I do not have the iCloud function on my Mac; I am on 10.6.8 and I refuse to pay for a software upgrade, so please no answers telling me to do this....
After a lot of frigging about ical now syncs to my husband's iPhone 5c from the Mac no problem via iTunes.  I have set up my phone and my iTunes account EXACTLY the same as his but not only is my calendar not syncing to my phone but all entries have been deleted!  I cannot understand why it works on one phone but not on the other.  My phone is a 4s.
Can anyone help?  Please note I am not very techy, so if you have any instructions, please make them detailed so I can follow them!
Many thanks.

Ron,
Let us know if following the procedures in iCloud: Troubleshooting iCloud Calendar helps solve your problem.

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