My iphone 3Gs won't transfer new appointments to a shared ical and will only receive 3 out of 4 calendars when connected via itunes to our imac.  Help!?

Usually I just connect my phone, itunes opens automatically and the phone syncs.  It downloads any new appointments from my husbands updates into my phone from the computer and updates the ical on the computer with my new appointments.  This system has allowed us for a whole year to keep a joint family calender.  One phone still works but not the other.  Any suggestions would be greatly apprciated!

I should add that I get the message "iTunes could not sync calenders to the iPhone because the iPhone disconneced".  My iPhone is still connected and my husband uses the same cable successfully to sync his phone with our computer.  My apps, contacts, music etc. all sync without any problems.  Thanks again anyone who can help

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