My iphone 4s will not connect to the computer or charge when on

Ok, so this one is kind of strange. I've had this problem for about a 10 days, and it's driving me nuts. The gist of it is that when I connect the USB cable to the phone and to either the computer or the electricity plug, nothing will happen. The phone will not charge in either, and when connected to the computer, neither iphoto nor itunes will connect to the phone (so no syncing podcasts or photos, grrr).
For a while I thought that it was a hardware problem- it started first by not recognizing the electricity plug, and i could only charge it with the computer (i think since i upgraded it to iOS6 first, about a month and a half ago). At that time, itunes and iphoto were working, so i didn't mind. Then, it started to get picky and i had to plug it a dozen times before it would work. I was very afraid that I wouldn't be able to charge my phone at all- but I discovered that if the phone was turned off while plugged, then it would charge perfectly. If I plugged it in while it was turned off, it would start up and not charge nor connect to itunes / iphoto- so the phone is getting the charge and it knows when it's being connected, but only as long as it's in a coma .
Here are the specs of what I'm using:
iphone 4s
iOS 6, latest version as of today
Macbook 4.1 Intel Core 2 Duo 2,4 GHz
running OSX 10.6.8
and iTunes 10.7 (21)
And here's a bunch of things I've tried:
- different cables
- different computers (macbook pro running 10.8.1)
- push start + off buttons simultaneoulsy for 30 seconds
- connect via wifi (since I need to start with the cable, it doesn't work)
Obviously nothing worked, and I would hate losing the pictures and videos in my phone that haven't been synced. Any ideas?

You must use Apples iTunes in order to place ringtones or music of your own on the phone. You don't have an android phone which uses a sd card and can load via the usb cable.
If you need info on how to get songs and ringtones and photos on your phone read the manual on your phone or read up at http://www.apple.com

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