My iphone 4s won't connect to itunes and everything is updated

i even resetted my setting on my phone

Hi mars20,
Welcome to the Apple Support Communities!
I understand that when you connect your iPhone 4s to your computer it does not show up in iTunes. If iTunes in your Windows computer is not recognizing the iPhone when it is connected, I suggest the steps in the following article.
iOS: Device not recognized in iTunes for Windows
http://support.apple.com/kb/ts1538
I hope this helps,  
-Joe

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