My iphone 5 is making me feel bad

Hi guys I have a few problems here. First of all my iphone Is making me feel sick, these zooming effects are really making my head spin, and then there is the white, too much white, makes my eyes really hurt... I have to go to setting and invert the color so my eyes won't hurt. Now I want to rant about some other problems I am having with my iphone. Why can I only have 9 apps in the folder before I have to scroll to the next page? And worst of all those 9 apps in a single page are take up the whole screen.  Another thing is the animations, all these fancy 5 second long animations remind me of the time I walked into the att store and played around with the windows phones... Just takes so dam long... When I unlock my iphone, I can't do anything for 5 seconds, even when the animations finished, there is still that second of not being able to click anything or pull up the control centre. So here are my questions:
How do I make the whites black without using the revert colors option (pictures get screwed up) and it really hurts my eyes when the light is off before I go to sleep.
How do I fit more apps into one folder page without taking to dam long to scroll the find the app I am looking for?
How do I get rid of the zooming?
Can we be able to make the iphone fade instead of the headhurting zoom animations?
And no. Do not suggest the reduce motion option, that option doesn't do smack!

You can get *some* relief by going to Settings > General > Accessibility menu (look for the "Reduce Motion" option).  This does not turn off all the effects, but it might help.

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