My iPod doesn't appear on my desktop or in my iTunes when connected

I have a 10GB iPod which I brought autumn 2003.
I recently removed all of my music from my iPod so that I could update them properly. Now when I try to connect my iPod to do this it doesn't appear on my desktop or in my iTunes. Not even the 'do not disconnect' message appears. It just seems to think that it is connected to the power adaptor and shows that it is charging, first just on the small power sign located at the top right hand corner of its screen, and then the full charging screen.
I am using the Firewire cable that came with the iPod.
The 5 R's suggested on the support web-page don't work. I can't restore my iPod to factory settings as the updater requires for my iPod to be connected, which it is not regestering. The problem in the first place!!
Any suggestions?
Please, please, please... I'm loosing faith.
iBook G4   Mac OS X (10.3.9)  

Unfortunately, as my computer isn't recognising my iPod as anything, I can't do these things you suggested on my computer.
I tried it on a friends, using my cable, and that all worked -which suggests it's a problem with my computer? But getting home it was all the same as before.
I just removed all iTunes and iPod everythings off my computer and re-installed them using the original disc. I installed iTunes first, and then the iPod, and that worked, it connected and I restored my iPod to factory settings.
I had to disconnect my iPod to use the port for my external hardrive, to upload all of my music again. and now that all the music is there and I have something to put onto my iPod, the bloody computers not recognising it again!
Any other ideas?

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