My itunes got deleted off my old computer

i got a new lap top and now that i want to download music i cant..and it says like this isn't your primary library, and it gives me an option of deleting all my songs or something else..and i dont know what to do!

SO you don't have access to your music on the old PC and you didn't make a backup?
There are ways of getting your music off your iPOd.
Copy from iPod to PC
It is important not to allow your iPod to sync with an empty library. If it is set to synchronise automatically you will get a message saying your iPod is linked to a different library and asking if you want to sync – it is important to press cancel as syncing with an empty library erases all music from your iPod.
You can also prevent auto sync by holding down shift & ctrl as you plug in your iPod and keeping the keys held down until the iPod appears in iTunes.
Once you are connected, you need to set your iPod to manage music manually.
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1535
If you have an iPod with iTunes Store purchases on it, you can use it to copy your purchases to other authorized computers.
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1848
However this is not allowed for other music.
This MacMuse tip tells you how to copy music from your iPod using Windows Explorer, but it is a bit fiddly:
http://discussions.apple.com/messageview.jspa?messageID=797432
Otherwise you can use third party software to manage the transfer, there are a variety of programs out there, some free and some that will copy ratings and counts as well as the music files. Here is a selection, check them out and see what suits you.
http://www.yamipod.com/main/modules/home/
http://www.floola.com/modules/wiwimod/index.php?page=WiwiHome
http://www.ipodsoft.com/site/pmwiki.php?n=igadget.Homepage
http://www.copytrans.net/
For a more complete list see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparisonof_iPodmanagers
There is a useful background article on copying from your iPod here:
http://www.ilounge.com/index.php/articles/comments/copying-music-from-ipod-to-co mputer/

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