My iTunes on my laptop and my iTunes on my phone don't match

My iTunes on my laptop and my iTunes on my phone don't match. My old phone (iPhone 4) has got all of my music (whether it's bought via iTunes or added from CD) whereby my iTunes on my laptop only has music I purchased via iTunes (my laptop crashed and had to be rebuilt so once I logged back into iTunes everything was gone). I've tried re-syncing but no joy. I've now got a new iphone (5s) but I can't get my iTunes on my new phone to match the iTunes on my old phone. Any ideas?

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