My Mac has a Different Apple ID to my (ex mobileme) iPhone - how do i get them to iCloud sync?

I have just moved my mobileme account to iCloud, and attempted to synchronise my iPhone and Mac - but now both are pointing at different Apple IDs !!! HELP.
Two Apple IDs?
I have long used one Apple Id for iTunes and my App Store purchases, whereas my MobileMe account handled all the synching of data, contacts, calendar etc between my Mac and Phone. I had no idea at all that my MobileMe account was also an Apple ID whenever this was set up... indeed even in System Preferences MobileMe had a separate account login to iTunes or the App Store.
MobileMe to iCloud forced my phone to use my MobileMe account instead of my Apple ID account.
While I have used the same Apple ID used for purchasing across both devices... I didn't get a chance to set up my iPhone with the same AppleId as my mac...the process just decided to use my mobile me account.
MobileMe => iCloud has permanently set up my devices with DIFFERENT Apple Ids.  No way to change Apple IDs
So the MobileMe to iCloud sync process has landed my iPhone with my MobileMe account as an Apple ID, whereas my Mac is on my iTunes (payments) Apple ID.  It seems there's no way to change the Apple ID on any device - the latest OS updates have removed that possibility.
So iCloud doesnt work at all....!!!
Basically iCloud is syncing absolutely none of my data between my devices... one device points at one account (ex MobileMe) while the other points at my (payments/iTunes) account.  I can't change either of them to point at the same one.
And to top it all, one of the iCloud accounts isn't even syncing?
So now what iCloud?

the key to happiness is separating the 'itunes' id from the 'everythign else' id.
the 'everything else' id should be (maybe must be) an @me email; make a new one if necessary. it's only used for iCloud.
LEAVE your iTunes id as-was; you do not want to add yet anohter id to your purchases. I even un-did any and all of my old iTunes DRM purchases by burning songs to virtual CDs and ripping back into iTunes for my older multpiple apple ids from the past.
when setting up an iPhone iPad or even mac lion you need to use the @me address, however when DONE setting up initial set-up you must LOG OUT in settings -> store and from iTunes and sign back in with the iTunes user id.
once your iCloud user is the new @me free username (you do not have to EVER use it for email so fret not that it's a 'new email address). you can get all your devices syncing happily.
FYI; you can get ios4 and snow-leopard (probably even leopard) syncing happily through iCloud as well; push may not work, have to hit 'refresh' but i have to do that on my lion mac anyhow so big deal
-awr

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