My mails and calendars are disappearing from my iOS devices

Hi Eveybody,
I hope someone can help me!
I have an iMac 24" from 2008 with 2.8 Ghz Intel Core Duo, Memory 4GB 800MHz DDR2 SDRAM. It is my main desk computer. I have made a mistake by buying and installing Mountain lion. This computer had slown down when moving from Leopard to Lion. I had read that Mountain Lion would solve the problem! So I did it!!! (This is my 1st mistake). Since then I only have problems!!!
The major ones are:
1. Slow start up (Grey film with a grey rotating wheel during about 1mn sometimes even more when I use non-Apple softwares such as Skype, Excel and Word)
Once the software is loaded the computer has a "normal behavior" I suspect the iMac CPU to be too slow!
2. I have additional iOS devices, updated to iOS6: iPhone 4, iPad 2 and my grand daughters have 2 iPods. All these devices + iMac are linked to iCloud. (This is my 2nd mistake!)
I am experiencing very unpleasant phenomenoms: mails disappearance, calendar disappearance...
- Mails read on my iPhone do not show on my iMac and disappear after a while (1 day?) from the iPhone.
- When my mails appear on my grand'daughters iPods and if I delete them from these iPods the mails are erased as well from my iMac...
- I cannot access my music stored in iCloud to play it on any of my Devices!
Beside changing the hardware (iMac, iPhone...) could anyone recommend less expensive solutions to these problems?
Many thanks
Alain

do you get your mail on another device which might be deleting them after 3 days. A phone perhaps.

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BlackBerry Desktop Software utilizes Apple's SyncServices technology in order to synchronize Contact, Calendar, Notes, and Tasks information to and from the Mac computer.
BlackBerry Desktop Software synchronizes information with the SyncServices database, which is synchronized with the desktop applications on the Mac computer (for example: Apple Address Book, iCal, Apple Mail, Microsoft Outlook for Mac). BlackBerry Desktop Software does not synchronize directly to or from the desktop applications on the Mac computer.
Mac OS X Mavericks v10.9 and later does not use SyncServices, therefore, it is not possible to synchronize Contact or Calendar information using the BlackBerry Desktop Software on these versions of OS X.
For more information on SyncServices and OS X Mavericks, see the following Apple Support article:
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