My wife's Apple ID is shown as belonging to a family sharing group, but we can't determine what is the id of the owner.  How can she remove herself from the group?

my wife's apple ID is shown as belonging to another family sharing group. We can' t figure out the  Apple ID of the 'owner' of the group.  Is there any way to remove oneself from a family sharing group when you are not the owner?  Or how can we find the log in id (Apple ID) of the owner?

i partially solved the problem, however still need some help.  My wife has made purchases under two different Apple ids.  I tried t re-set her iPad with her main ID but it is apparently part of a family.  I re-set  her iPad iCloud using her secondary ID.  The sharing of iTunes shows her main apple ID.  The settings iTunes is also set to her main Apple id.  I sent an invite from her iPad icloud family sharing to her main Apple ID, but when I attempted to consent to join it says she is already a member.  So I am guessing this is because in the family set up under her secondary ID that her main id is the iTunes account that is shared.  My question is could I change the iTunes shared under her name as owner to her secondary account, then invite her main account to join as a distinct member?  I am nervous about doing this for two reasons 1.  There is a warning when changing the shared iTunes account that says you can't join another group for 90 days. 2. I may still get the message that her main account is still a member of the group even though it doesn't show up, and then not able to revert back.
if you follow this can someone offer some help,
thanks
note. This whole problem when we had to change a Apple id when we changed Internet service providers.

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