My wife's iPhone can't use wifi sync with my Mac (but mine does)

My iPad and my iPhone both work correctly with wifi sync and my Mac, so I think my network config is ok.
However, when I set up my wife's iPhone the setup looks ok, when it is tethered to my Mac I can press the wifi sync button on the iphone and it will sync, but when I disconnect it, it
1. dissapears from the device list on the left
2. cannot find the Mac even when I try and force a sync from the menu
I have tried:
Enabling and disabling uPnP on my router, assigning a different IP for her phone, etc.
Rebooting / Re-opening everything
Resetting the network settings on the iPhone
Any real ideas that don't involve "format and reinstall?"

Is your wife's iPhone always connected to your home network when in the house? 
Yes
Also, have you enabled WiFi syncing when the iPhone has been tethered to the Mac and then re-synced (while still tethered) once you enabled the feature.
Yes
Lastly, are all devices running iOS 5?
Yes
Agree that it is very wierd.

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