Need help managing two iphones, two iTunes accounts, and one music library

We have digitized all our music and it's successfully set up on an external hard drive. This is all great for me, as my iphone is synced to my iTunes account, so everything is set.
Problem is my husband set up his own iTunes account with his iphone and now he wants to access the music on our home computer/iTunes account.
So what we have is:
USER A =
computer + digital hard drive w/music (managed by iTunes account A)
iTunes account A
iphone A (synced with iTunes account A)
USER B =
iTunes account B
iphone B (synced with iTunes account B)
iTunes account B = very few music files + lots of Aps
What we want is for USER B to be able to access the computer + digital hard drive w/music (managed by iTunes account A), but retain his Aps that he's purchased for his iphone.
I hope this is clear. Can someone tell us the best way to accomplish getting USER B access to our home music collection?
Thanks!

My problem is similar, except for 3 different devices: IPod Nano, Old style Shuffle, and Iphone 3Gs.
To answer one post as to "why" different accounts... 1 pre-teen user; wife/husband have (maybe) a 10 song overlap in the library, and I have tons of apps.
Ok, all I want to do is play the same stuff on my home computer as on my work computer. There are 3 I-tunes accounts on my home computer (mine is one). My apps/movies and music don't show up on this computer, even though it has been authorized. I have synced the phone, but no changes, even after adjusting the prefs. Oh, and this is a side note, my Outlook calendars are not playing well together either. My home Outlook is "stand alone" while my work calendar is accessed by others all the time and both appts and email are "pushed" to my phone. (This is not a big deal, however)
All I want is to be able to use my home computer to get MY movies and songs onto my I-phone (from the home computer)-- and download new stuff, that once I put on my phone will transfer to my work computer when I plug sync my phone and work computer together.
Honestly, I don't need my wife's stuff or my kid's stuff, nor do I need for them to have my stuff. I don't care if we do share, I just don't want to chew up the memory on my phone with "Kidz Bop Vol 1-99", etc.
My work computer is my primary for my Itunes. If you are still with me, please help. Thanks!

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