Need to sync 2 iphones to Itunes w/out deleting 1st sync

My IPhone 4S is currently 99% dead due to a 800lb desk falling on it. I am trying to use my old 3GS to download music I have bought and burnt that is currently on ITunes, Is there a way to sync my IPhone 3GS to my laptop without going over the 4GS data? The 4GS has a lot of information backed up onto the laptop so I need to know how to sync my IPhone 3GS to the laptop without erasing all of that if anyone knows how

You're getting into very advanced iTunes here! I haven't tried it, but I think what you want is to have the iTunes library database (not the music, just the index) under your login ID, but the music itself on the shared drive. And likewise for your wife; her index should be under her ID. The library file needs to be in ~/music/iTunes, where "~" is your login directory (Macintosh HD/Users/<username>. The index filename is iTunes Library.itl. There is a companion file iTunes Music Library.xml that should be in the same place.
It will take some experimentation on how to make this happen.

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    Try disconnecting and reconnecting your device, then syncing again to solve this issue.
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    Reduce the amount of data that is being synced to the device and resync the device. For example, if syncing your Music library exceeds the memory capacity of the device, choose "Selected playlists" to transfer rather than "All songs and playlists" under the Music tab in iTunes.
    If the 'Not enough free space' alert appears, continue to step 6.
    Restore using iTunes.
    Thank you for using Apple Support Communities.
    Regards,
    Sterling

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