Need to sync iPhone 3Gs to PC Laptop WITHOUT erasing data on iPhone

I recently had to purcase a new computer when my iBook stopped working correctly. I was able to get my iTunes library to transfer to my new PC laptop, and I want to switch over to having my iPhone sync to the new computer, but am very nervous about the need to "erase" my iPhone. I was burned once before by an incompetent Apple rep that had me restore from backup and I lost EVERYTHING. All of my current data is on the iPhone. Is there anyway to not erase my phone and get the contacts, etc. off of it. I also have MobileMe, which I hoped would be the best way to manage everything but after the latest update it isn't working correctly either.
My Blackberry and my Treo could be set up to take the data from to the device and override the program on my computer,so I do not understand why it is such a challenge for the iPhone.

If you copied your iTunes library from your Mac to your PC per the instructions included with this link, any music that was purchased from the iTunes store with your iPhone was in your iTunes library on your Mac before being transferred to your PC and the same for any 3rd party apps downloaded/installed direct with your iPhone, and you have authorized the PC with your iTunes account with iTunes, no iTunes content on your iPhone should be erased with the first sync with iTunes on your PC.
http://support.apple.com/kb/HT1751
Not sure how restoring your iPhone with iTunes from your iPhone's backup lost everything on your iPhone - with your iPhone being completely erased of all data unless there was a major problem with your iPhone's backup. No iTunes content on your iPhone is included with your iPhone's backup, and no photos transferred from your computer to your iPhone are included with your iPhone's backup. All iTunes content on your iPhone - all music, movies, tv shows, and 3rd party apps should be in your iTunes library on your computer, and all photos transferred from your computer should remain on your computer.
What isn't working correctly in regards to your MobileMe account exactly after which update?
With Windows, you can sync your MobileMe contacts and calendar events with Outlook 2003, 2007, or 2010. Do you have Outlook available on your PC and if so, have you downloaded the Windows MobileMe Control Panel to set up syncing Outlook with your MobileMe online calendar and address book?

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